• Polly

What Is Submission?

Submission means something different to everyone, so I can only explain what it means to me, although from my conversations with other submissives, much of this does seem to ring true for many people.

A common misconception is that a submissive is weak and subservient. In BDSM terms, a submissive holds the most power, in that he or she can call "stop" at any moment. A good Dominant will act in their submissive's best interests, knowing that anything they do is consensual and actively asked for.

In my eyes, submission is a gift that I grant someone who has demonstrated that they are worthy of my respect and deference. It is an offering of trust and a recognition of my worth when the exchange of power in a D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship is agreed.

When I submit, I am allowing my Dominant to take charge of my mind and my body, to fulfil my fantasies, to guide me when my own mind wants to lead me astray. I also have an ardent need to please, to know that the person I am submitting to is enjoying my offering, both mental and physical.

I love to feel powerless and at someone else’s mercy. I thrive on knowing that someone is using me for their own pleasure. The thrill of not knowing what’s coming next, that my pleasure and pain is at the whim of someone else, the deep trust that has to be built in order to allow someone that privilege, the knowledge that I am completely safe and cared for, even when a whip is lashing into my skin. It is so totally freeing to be restrained, knowing that for that period of time, nothing else in the world matters except for breathing and existing entirely for the other person in the room.

I think the most interesting thing about submission, for me, is that it’s actually got very little to do with sex. Yes, the orgasms are incredible, and I definitely find BDSM experiences far more satisfying than “vanilla” sex, but that feeling of vulnerability and trust and respect and, ultimately, knowing that I am so utterly myself in that moment, with no space to hide, is unrivalled.

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