• Polly

How To Choose Your First Sex Party

You’re intrigued. Curious. Your mind has been piqued by the thought of booking a ticket to a sex party, but you’ve started looking online and, surprisingly, there seem to be quite a few of them. Which one to try? They’re all pretty secretive, and don’t give much away about what to expect, so how do you know which one will be right for you?

There are some pretty simple ways to narrow things down, so let’s run through a couple of them.

The main thing to consider is what sort of atmosphere you want on the night. Do you want a more clubby dance party? Something a little more erotic? Do you want a theme night or just a general ambience of sensuality?

Check out the dress code and see what you’d feel comfortable arriving in. Some parties veer more towards the fetish side of things, with an insistence on latex or leather, costumes and full immersion in a specific area of the “scene”. Others dictate that men wear suits, and women cocktail dresses, until a certain time in the evening. Some parties insist on anonymity - no mask, no entry - whilst others are more open with their approach.

Next, decide who you want to be surrounded by. Many organisations run events for couples, singles, single women and mixed couples, skewing attendance to more men than women… What kind of environment do you want to be in?

If you’re totally new to the kink or fetish scene, take a look at what their policy is on newbies. Do they offer early arrival if it’s your first party? Maybe they mention a person you can contact if you have questions, or perhaps they run a “pre-drinks” social event to get to know people, so you’re not showing up totally cold.

What is their vetting process like? Rather than being intimidated by an application form that feels like you’re being judged, I would be inclined to actively look for the parties that screen their attendees in advance. They’re not assessing you on appearance (however they might word it) but on your confidence, and legitimacy. Which means you know that everyone else in attendance has been under the same scrutiny.

It’s absolutely daunting attending something like this for the first time, but it’s very much like ripping off a dressing on a wound - you’ve just got to jump in! Don’t get drunk (genuine advice from everyone I know who goes to parties!), but definitely have one or two drinks to take the edge off and give you that air of confidence when you walk in.

Most importantly, know that every single party is different, even with the same organisation. You can never tell who will be there on the night, and it’s really the people that make it.

The best thing to do is to choose one that offers an environment you’re comfortable in, and which will make you feel safe and confident.

Have you been to a sex party? What’s your top tip for a first-timer? Let me know!

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